Fantisezed emotions appearing real

i must tell you.. this was one helluva show that Ive ever seen.. for that matter no one in India would have seen such a show! yes! i was there when iron maiden performed! they were simply mind blowing!
maiden is one band that any one in India recognizes and always craved to watch them play! and here they came a rocked the stage!
i went with my friends nipun and tushar and his frens from bangalore..i took the train from chennai on 16th night and reached b'lore on 17th mornin and guess what we did! all of us went straight to the palace grounds where the show was about to take place.it was 7.30 in the mornin when we went there and the gates were closed! hmph! we had to sit out with few sri lankan maiden fans.. we were some 20 in number most of them smoking and few others eatin breakfast! lol..
and then .. we were let in around 9am and the security near the stage checked out tickets and let us into the stage venue! shit! we were hardly 30 and we we stunned to see the stage settings! we were so so so happy to go in first for all we wanted is to stand right in the front row and admire the maidens! but.. unfortunately one big,fat ass security guys came and shooed us off! and so we had to go outta the stage ground and sit out were one line was suppused to be formed.
slowly ppl started comin n and formed on huge crowd. but still tushar dint wanna back ut and never let ppl cme in front of him and so did we stand with him.
mann.. you should have seen the maiden fans sit under the sizzling hot sun, carefree.. jus waitin to see the godz!
at one point of time.. the crowd started gettin restless.. at around 1pm..few ppl from the crowd started moving towards the entry area and guess what our die hard fans did!!!! they thought the entry was open and everyone started runnin towards the entry and rushing to get the first place to stand! mann i was literally pushed down and got nicely hit by one idiot's helmet! phew..
but.. omg.the security ppl were stuck up and dint let us in and instead asked us to form a line outside the entry.
like good kids we also paid heed and formed lines..and it extended to some two kilometers i guess! lol..
but it was like 2.30pm and we were still waitin like fools outside the entry area. so we started banging the walls and throwing bottles and even the security's cap! lol.. was real fun!
then it became 3 and we were completely restless and so we started pushing in front(thank god there wasn't any stampede!)
we also started playing cards! lol
and then finally after slogging for two whole hours they decided to let us in. but the other entrance which no one knew were let in first and so they occupied the first few rows!:( but yeah.. if i would ve stood in the front rows i would have died of suffocation.even tushar came off!
the first band to perform was called FTN who won the campus rock idols(wish public issue played). FTN was real bad mann.. they could n control the crowd!! the crowed pulled them off the stage!
next on stage was a band called PARIKRAMA! the kicked ass! seriously they were mind blowing(my kinda music!) the band as a whole was amazing.too good music and they were extremely lively! the violinist kicked ass!(yeah.. they had a violinist and a tabla player!kick ass no?)
next band tht played was//umm// yuck! i just couldn stand! it was stve harris' daughter's band..lauren harris! shit! we jus couldn stand her! she jus went on and on.. she couldn jus sing! the mob was yellin at her to get off the stage! lol.. i seriously hated her! lol..
finally!! phew! it was maiden!!!!!!!!!they appeared with a bang! mann bruce dickenson! shit! i jus couldn believe i was actually there to witness them perform!it was truely a very nice feeling to be there u know? i just forgot everything!
ppl were drunk..doped..high..headbanging..excited to see their godz..jumping..pushing/. yelling//! what a sight! 50,000 fans.. phew!
once the started .. the crowd went crazy! number after number the crowd fell on their feet! i heard one guy say " mann.. i don want anything more in my lif.. i shall die now" and another girl " i ve seen my godz.. i ve attained salvation.. kill me!!!" hahahaha
everthing was soooper! but.. huh the event managing company..DNA NETWORKS! i tell ya! they sucked big time.. it was poorly organised! no water!no proper food. they dint let us take anythin into the venue! for 50000 ppl. they had one food stall and one drinks stall where they gave "mirinda sorbet" lol!!!
but.. i must say.. after all this slogging and struggle..i dint seriously feel the pain.. we were standing all day and still we were ready to take anything for the performance!
ummm.. i felt nice writing this post! was like a recap to what i saw there! :)

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they're yours. If they don't, they never were." aren't these words true?? i got these lines in my mobile..someone sent it to me..it actually affected me so much! and thats y i am here writing this post!
coming to the point.. im a person badly affected by love..i think the greatest mistake that i did all my life is falling in love..(i actually don't mean that) but yeah.. when u r ditched by someone its awful! its very hard to take it.. at least for me.. for the past few days.. ive totally lost myself.. no food.. no sleep.. nothing! im feeling miserable! but why! why should i undergo all this shit? y should i undergo this trauma! i don't deserve this..! do i?? do i deserve this kind of humility?/ do i have to take this intolerable insult? i don't think so..i have my life.. and i wanna be happy! i have my mom! i have myself!! im gonna love myself! why should i love someone who doesn even respect foe the slightest bit!
if u ever loved someone.. let them be themselves.. let them go..love them for what they are.. and if they come back they had loved you, they love you , and they will love you.....and they were your's
but..
if they don't they never ahd loved you.. they were never your's

will time heal my wounds?
answers!

*HUGS* TOTAL!
give divya more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

yet to write this post.. this is one decision i nver wanna take. but ..now.. ive lost everythin in life.. im gonna lose my music also..

ive always wondered when i was young , how ppl take pictures by tht one click.. its always been a fantasy for me to take photos.. but now.. i m happy tht im lil bit educated about photography and now im a decent photographer.:)
it all started when i was very young when mom took to me to my uncle's place..he s a very well known cinematographer and an awesome photographer..
i went there and was talking to my cousins.. and went around the house to see what all they have.. ( after all i was a curious kid!)
i went to my uncle's room and was awe struck! he had beautiful pictures hung on the walls which were so lively and true and real!! i couldn believe my eyes.. each picture spoke for itself.. they were alive.. i was so stunned to see those pictures.. i asked my aunt who the photographer was and the answer was obvious.. yeah.. it was my uncle..!
i was like " ma.. i also wanna take pictures like these..!" as if i knew everything! lol
mom asked me to go to my uncle and talk to him.. but i refused for he was lil moody and reserved. and i was tht time very scared of him.. but i always respected him fro a distance! hehe
days passed.. and i finished my schooling and was time for me to choose my career! and first thing tht came to my mind was photography and music.. and it was then i decided to opt for elec media..
and here i stand before you.. as an a-mature photographer ...craving to learn more and more..
i thank my uncle who has been my guru tho i dint directly learn from him..i still silently admire his works! thank you.
ps. i won my coll photography competition recently which not in my widest dreams i thought of!! thanks again for those who liked my pictures!:)

ok.. im sad.. terribly sad and feelin very low.. no one to talk .. trust me NO ONE! even if i can spot someone around me to talk. they wouldn bother listenin to me..hmph.
life sux..
1.it sux coz of me..
2.coz of me misinterpreting ppl and their qualities!
3.coz i dont know to live my life..
4.coz im weak,.weak at heart and intellectually weak!(nothin can be done..??)
5.coz im ditched by ppl.. totally..dont know why..!?!#$
6.coz ppl think im wicked..bad.. fit for nothing. blah blah..( i think im not.. but cant really help if ppl think so..)
7.life sux coz guys suck! they suck majorly.. i hate tht species.,. don't really understand why god even had the slightest of plans to create them.. he should have either created man or woman.. or some other totally diff species who have absolutely no discrimination.!:(
8.life is fake. life has no meaning.. no purpose unless u r some sadhu sitting on some mountain urging urself to find out what life actually is..( i think im gonna do that eventually)
9.life sux coz i got caught in many messy activities that led to my doom.. for instance..falling in love.."love is shit..love is not true,, love can never last.. love brings smile only for a very short period of time and gives us sorrow for the rest of our lives.."
10.last reason tht i can think of is .. umm... human beings are a bunch of flesh eating demons! life sux!
for the past twelve hours,,,
i ve been talkin to my room walls.. to the stars in my rrom.. to my computer.. i tore off my teddy..
im feelin so terribly sick!im feverish..wot not..?
my room walls r the only entities who know abt me and what im undergoin..
not that no one else knows abt it.. but they r jus not bothered..
all dialogs ... the mushy talks.. the hugs..the kisses.. the warmth ..the love.. the friendship..the touch..the small talks.. the cuddles.. everything is gone and it will be bygone!
its all so temporary! its all so fake..
ppl around me are not ready to accept me as i am.. they think im cake of shit! but i am not..im also a sane human who can socialize..but ppl around me are not ready to accept this.. i tend to make mistakes.. and so does everybody.. u cant forbid ur love coz of that.. its human nature to lose ur temper but.. closing all the past memories in a day.. its not possible,, not possible at least by me!!
now i realize..after twelve hours of staring at the ceiling at a stretch,,
i should never ever be attached to anyone here on.. no love.. no getting together.. NO RELATIONSHIPS!, no ATTACHMENTS!
LIFE SUX.. AND WILL SUCK FOR WHOLE OF MY LIFE..
BUT..
ILL LIVE!