Fantisezed emotions appearing real

annoying is not the word!
ok i hate maarwadees! no offence and even if you are offended, sorry dude. can't help!

i shall never ever work for them.. ever in my life!

i saw a short film my junior in college made that touched me a great deal. it was about her dad who passed away and she had dedicated it to him..
dad is someone who lives to bring up his daughter, earns his sweat out to see a lil smile on her face, who discusses with his wife about her, who brings surprises just to see the raise of eyebrows in his daughter's face.
sometimes he can be egoistic, rude, annoying and a drunkard.
sometimes he can be a role model to his daughter by gettin a small cycle will make her feel out of the world! by just gettin her new clothes during festivals will make her feel special, but just lettin her know tht he is always there for her, she needs nothing more.
i have never understood my dad. will never.
i wish i had a dad who was all the above.

ok.. im very excited to write about this.. its quite fascinating to think about god nd its existence. two of my friends and i were strolling in the beach.. talkin random stuff, lookin at the ring around the moon that was fascinating to me :) . slowly we started to talk about the big bang theory that is experimented now by our scientists. it is so cool. but people who think the universe was created by the god need not believe in the theory. ok. now how do we know that the gods that we worship have the form that we see. how do we know that they ever existed? where did they come from?? if humans were from eve and adam, why is every religion contradicting each other? it is very funny that people worship idols, that too i dono how many gods we have now. no count! lol. hindu mythology says that lord ganesha wrote the mahabharata as it was recited by valmiki. what language did he write in..tamil?? hindi?? oh! so languages existed in god's period? that is interesting! who saw lord ganesha write it.. any videos? how can i believe it!?
epics- it is a record or a style of any writing that may be called history. now. who knows if the ramamyan or the mahabharat actually existed?? poeple say jesus lived to serve people. yes. may be and that is why he is respected. i dont think jesus possessed any magical powers. he was an ordinary man who helped people and hence they liked him,according to the bible. same with mohmad. he served people and hence they loved him. so what do we infer. if i help someone else around me, to them i am god.! that sounds nice. but what is irritating in hindi mythology is that they dont have proper reasons for what they say. lots of things are still a mystery. one reason for that is the invasion the britsh in india for 200yrs. at that period of time, there would have been a chance of loosing our culture. but yeah, we blindly believe in a lot of stuff. there was aperiod where humans used to worship nature? where did all that go? why is everyone not worshiping nature anymore?
it is more of greed and selfishness that is prevailing now. a man goes to tirupathi not to ask the so called god he believes in for happiness and well-being of his fellows but asks for money and wealth. lol. why cant he sit in his pooja room and ask for all this? so u believe that there is no god in ur pooja room but in tirupathi?
i had gone for a trip during last december if i remember it right. we were gang where my friends belonged to different countries and religion. but most of them were hindus. we reached the puri jagannath temple in orissa. it is known for its art nd architecture. all excited to explore the new place. when we were about to enter the temple, we were stopped and my friends who looked lil chinese and not "hinduish" were denied entry. we were like " what crap!". in pondycherry, in auroville,there is a board saying "indians not allowed" ! lol. dude do you remember you are in india??
did your god ask you to do all this? is it? nice god!
another big question. why so many gods! so that people can worship according to their likes? wah! where is humanity heading to?
i would like to meet the guy who created god.

its been sometime i socialised.. been quite sometime since i went out with my usual bunch of fun-loving friends.. life seems strange now.
been very busy with shooting and been having health problems on and off. i quit my job. now sittin jobless at home. never been like this before.. never been this jobless.. not that i dont want to work.. i dont feel like.. life seems empty without a lot of things. things i wanted to stay forever disappeared in no time. but one thing that has evolved in me is the capacity to take things and understand them. i have developed this quality of tolerance dont know from where. now there are very few people around me who i talk to. i always used to be surrounded by people but now, im lonely but not alone. i seem to enjoy this. i seem to understand the purpose of lie at last. i understand that life is not only about love but also hate, not only about relationships but separation, not only about wants but also needs, not only about happiness but also gloom, not only about friends who care but also about loneliness that teaches you to survive. im kinda happy now. with few people around me im learning a lot of things. i have applied for masters in advertising in sheridan, toronto. leaving in july. excited about it. mostly, going to leave all the good-bad memories behind. leaving for good as my friend ram once said. now i know how true it is.
hope i find my right track and drive through. i pray whoever, to give the courage to face all the hurdles i am going to face :)
wish me good luck!

life's even worse.. lol..