Posted by Fantasized emotions appearing real 6 comments

ha..it feels nice to write in this space after a very long time. hardly anytime!!shooting and office has kept me away from normal, happy life. its been days since i read newspaper, ate mom's yummmy food, met up wit my gang in the beach, slept my arse out for 34hours, smiled like a kid, star gazed, look at the kids ride cycle in my colony, i sang, i went to the plays happenin in the city, i shot wit my camera, i sat and though about my life, shopped,licked candy lolilypops, went to satyam to catch up wit a movie alone,exprienced a lazy evening....and what not.
thinking about all this, i feel my life is so used-less and freaking dull. am i lettin others to take up my life? i never wanted that. but eventually i end up being a victim to many mishaps that i really dont deserve. its hard to think about life. so many people around me, all strangers, scare me at times. sometimes it feels even my mom is stranger to me, why? i myself am a stranger to me. trust is something that i infer from the other person's vibes, but often i go wrong. im unable to understand people around me. i always wanted my happiness to be from me and not dependent on others. sometimes its very depressing to see someone i loved so much breaking the trust i had in him/her. life seems so pointless without understanding all this. its funny and irritating when i think about this. i dont know what i wrote here, but i feel good writing.
hope life gets better.