Fantisezed emotions appearing real

ok.. im gonna take a poll!

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was very depressed and almost in tears.. that was when vish (my fren) called me and was convincing me that everything is gonna be alrite..i started talking to him and started talking to him about the stars in the sky. i always fancied those stars and i always wondered how they never moved!!( lol.. now i know!!)
both of us started pointing every star and spotted it rightly..! the beauty in this is both of us stayed some 20km apart! lol.. but yet.. we spotted the star right and could identify which star was where!! wow! it was exciting! vish was talking as if he was an astro physics student! lol..( he always wanted to be one..thts wot he told me)!
he started naming the stars.. he spotted the constellations for me.. and guess what...! we saw a moving satellite..it was pretty fast and simple cute!! lol.. i ve never seen one! was spell bound! it was really tiny and moved like an ANT!
and then today the Venus was shining extremely bright and was damn bright!
we tried spotting the pole star..:( couldn't
and yeah.. i now know what a orion nebula constellation is.. and a regal..and that..umm..forgot..! wait.. ! that betelguese( hhe asked vish now).. canis major sirius...and oh yeah canopus.!! so many names i learnt today!! yaay! here on ill go to my terrace and look at all the stars!
forgot to mention.. looking at the stars i dint realize i went to my terrace and vish! he actually walked to some other road in his colony!!

hahaha! tnx vish!:)

itS been quite sometime i sat in my room and thought about something deep and heavy! aha.. yeah..im serious! past few months was a jolly roller-coaster ride for me. had the happiest of days and very few sad and sorrowful times! but now.. those days have vanished..no more freaking out with the same set of friends i had..no more of jolly movies with them..no more of secrets unrevealed..but..i can see a beautiful, sparkling, extremely calm and virtuous angel with a stunning bright light shining like a halo.. she with her arms wide open is ready to embrace me and take me to the path of happiness..to the haven of wisdom...to the garden of love..! do i go with her???
but.. i still don't know what i need..i know what i want but that doesn't make me a complete human being.i first NEED to understand my needs..what kind of a person i am? what is the purpose of my life..? why am i even living in this treacherous world of demons and devils?? why am i here!!?
past has to be one's experience.. future has to give one hopes..present is the reality.. but what lies within is confidence...
i have started realizing what lies within me..let me gain confidence!:)

yaay!! for a change i made few changes in ma blog...
it looks nice no??:)

im in a fix now.. never been like this before..people around me seem to be nice and loving..but sometimes i just feel they are just bodies who can move and talk but fake it all! they are not their true selves at times .. this scares me..
i have started feeling that other bodies around me have started controlling my life.. its like if they are not there my life would me meaningless! but i want to prove it wrong!!! im desparate to prove it wrong for it s ruining my happyness!! i know those bodies are petty things in my life but they do create a gr8 impact in me! they come into the boundary of my life like a crawling baby but grow to become a "bhyanak bhoot"and start controlling my thoughts and feelings!
some bodies are worse! they are like dusts in strong winds! they come..irritate us and leave!! i am not living for those dust particle to irritate me. id rather prevent myself from those IRRITATING DUSTS! PAH!
and yeah... some are damn cute..but silent killers! they are the ones who observe you and silently harass you! i hate them!
i dont know.. when i started writing this post the only thing my mind was.. who is controllin me.. is it the external bodies around me ..or is it my own self!!?!
according to me it is both..but a major part is controlled by the external bodies..i dont want that to happen to me.
i wanna control my own life.
im gonna try hard not to let others hurt me..others control me..others bother me.. others irritate me..
im gonna live my own life in happiness!!
:)

i really dont understand why i am blogging so much!!!
mebbe coz im jobless..
mebbe coz i find blogging better than any other work right now..
mebbe i jus wanna vent out things thats piled up in ma head...
mebbe im down..thinking of some really stupid things..
mebbe i wanna improve ma english!!( as mr anonymous said in the previous post comment!lol)
mebbe i am searching for something and i expect to find it by writing a blog!@!@#$@$
(did i make sense there???)
mebbe im trying to bring out something but unable to!
mebbe im trying to tell somebody something but eventually end up typing some crap here!

ummm.. ok.. i jus wasted five min of mine writing this sooper boring post and wasting your time also! lol
sorry!

hehehehe

i guess everybody out there must be engrossed in the world cup mania!! but is it still a mania after the Indians came back!1?!lol!
umm.. i was wondering why people go crazy about cricket.. i mean really really CRAZY!?
there are so many things to worry about.. there are so many things to enjoy/. there are so many interesting things to do! but why do ppl waste time..why do ppl waste money..why do ppl waste energy for cricket.. after all its a sport! esp in India ppl are seriously out of their minds to go hay ward about cricket.. mann! ppl die!! ppl commit suicide!! ppl leave their families!! all for cricket( ewwww)
i am not against cricket.. i love to watch .i love to play cricket! i used to play with ma colony kids! i do good bowling! lol.. but yeah.. there s some limits mann! India seems to go outta control! 200 crore!! our Indian govt actually spent 200 crores on the Indian cricket team for this world cup?? wowowo! this is heading no where!
our country has so much to do.. so many other things to worry about.. not cricket! our revenue is no where near the richest countries! we are one of the poorest! so many slums.. so many terrorism acts...poverty! unemployment!! illiteracy!.. this is not the end of this list.. it goes on forever!! what do we do about these problems..!! this is not the right time for us to lose our concentration towards something else! we have man power.. but we don't utilize it! we have so much to do... we have so much to achieve! not the cricket is not an achievement...but we must know our limits!
ok.. for instance.. the metro project in chennai was signed long long time ago..nobody knows how long! lol. but still .. even the construction has not started ! half the population is not aware that there is some project like this signed! now this is an issue ppl are supposed to worry about not who s gonna coach the Indian cricket team..and not why chapell went against the senior cricketers!?@!! pah! heights!
for now our ppl have to think about the nation's up-liftment..youth should not hide themselves when crisis arises.. India 's development is important now.. lets not lose ourselves to a foreigner again! cricket!