Fantisezed emotions appearing real

for the past few days this is the only thing that i hear from people around me..
"why you like this div..whats wrong..why you down all the time..",
" don worry mann..im there for you..even i underwent all this.."
my heartfelt thanks to everyone who cared for me and who cares for me..
i would like to tell you all a story..
REMEMBER REMEMBER THE 15TH OF NOVEMBER..there blossomed a cute lil girl baby from her mother's womb..she was beautiful and charming. everyone loved her and the atmosphere was filled with happYness!. she started walking when she was 8months and she started talking even when she was in her mother's womb! haha..
then it came to the naming ceremony for the girl baby. it was as if the whole world was running out of names!!! no one could fine her a perfect name!!:(
then suddenly her cousin brother popped into the crowd and screamed "i have a name for her!!" people were surprised! and they asked him the name.he was then studying his pre-school.damn sweet fellow for he was one soul who was waiting for the baby's birth!
"i have a name! i have a name!" after a pause he said.." but..aunty promise me you'll name her the name i say!ok..?" people around grinned and asked him the name..he told them the name and everyone was surprised!they all liked the name and it suited her so perfectly!!! but everyone were so curious that they grabbed him and asked him why he suggested that name!!! he replied with an innocent smile "he he.. that my girl friend's name in school" and he ran away! thus the girl baby was named!
she then started going to school...she was too cute for people to take eyes off her..she was quite at the same time a naughty brat!
at school she was the most talented kid but very mischievous! she never scored anything less than the first mark! her teachers used to be very proud of her.. but her mischief was boundless.!!
she used to run out of the class when the teacher was there! she used just pull out the teacher's Saree and run away! lol.. and yeah.. she used to bribe her fellow mates to do her home-works!!!heights mann! shes only in the pre-school! but yet..none complained for they loved her for the way she was!
he mom used to tie her up in the gates..lock her up in the room for throwing all the vessels into the well.. but she was loved more than anything that anyone could think of!oops! i forgot to mention her best fren since she joined school! yes! mithun mohandas! wow! they used to paly all possible pranks on everyone and still they are the same! they used to life girls skirts in school and check out what panties they were wearin! lol(thts wot everyone used to tell me!)
but evolution never forgets its work.. tremendous change took place in her..
she grew older..very matured..grew to be more beautiful and charming...but things changed.. she started loving solitude.. she stated loving her music and her activities..she loved to be loved yet stayed away from others..! none could understand her.she had very few close friends and one among them was one girl called ramya.very sweet girl who never left her..who stood by her during all her ups and downs!
she then finished her schooling..but one unexpected incident happened in her life..she fell in love..madly in love..that she decided to live the rest of her life with her love..they both made a lovely pair..they were happy and they spread happiness..
there is always a but.. :( ..yes.. they fell apart..due to many unavoidable circumstances.
she was drowned in misery and sorrow when another prince charming came into her life. she saw him like the way she saw her mother. she adored him.she respected him for what he was.she loved him more than anything in the whole world.she did everything for him.she never wanted to lose him forever.everyone envied them.they said "what a lovely cute pair..hope they lived together happily." but..did they??
the girl was unlucky as usual as people blame the poor "luck goddess"!
she fell sick..she forgot what sleep was..she never spoke to anyone..she grew gloomier day by day..she forgot her beautiful smile..her love blinded every other beautiful things around her..she repent for what she had done..
but what can be done now..sulk all her life..?? she wanted to move on..but she found it very hard..
then came her angel godmothers for her rescue..they are with her now ,.taking care of her.. trying to make her smile and bring back her happiness..for they all wish for her wellbeing.she has a very bright future but she doesn't see it.hope she gets well soon and finds her path to success.
please wish her luck!

umm...im kinda clear about what i want.. though not completely..
days have changed..times have changed where i used to be a kid...i used to depend on people around me..smile for the slightest of things.. jump around joblessly at home..carefree..
but now.. i know what i want..i don't let people hurt me cause im not worth it...i have started socializing with many other people which i was not doing for the past few months..i have started bringing smiles in many people..both i know and i dont.
i dont bother what tomorrow has for me for now im learning to live the present. i might have many problems in life..but im seeing myself as a bigger problem..
im not letting others control my life..for i am its master!
life seems lil easy now..less confused!i know my priorities..i am able o take things in a lighter sense..less offensive....
but there is always a dark side that surfaces .. i dont know what to with it..??????

i must tell you.. this was one helluva show that Ive ever seen.. for that matter no one in India would have seen such a show! yes! i was there when iron maiden performed! they were simply mind blowing!
maiden is one band that any one in India recognizes and always craved to watch them play! and here they came a rocked the stage!
i went with my friends nipun and tushar and his frens from bangalore..i took the train from chennai on 16th night and reached b'lore on 17th mornin and guess what we did! all of us went straight to the palace grounds where the show was about to take place.it was 7.30 in the mornin when we went there and the gates were closed! hmph! we had to sit out with few sri lankan maiden fans.. we were some 20 in number most of them smoking and few others eatin breakfast! lol..
and then .. we were let in around 9am and the security near the stage checked out tickets and let us into the stage venue! shit! we were hardly 30 and we we stunned to see the stage settings! we were so so so happy to go in first for all we wanted is to stand right in the front row and admire the maidens! but.. unfortunately one big,fat ass security guys came and shooed us off! and so we had to go outta the stage ground and sit out were one line was suppused to be formed.
slowly ppl started comin n and formed on huge crowd. but still tushar dint wanna back ut and never let ppl cme in front of him and so did we stand with him.
mann.. you should have seen the maiden fans sit under the sizzling hot sun, carefree.. jus waitin to see the godz!
at one point of time.. the crowd started gettin restless.. at around 1pm..few ppl from the crowd started moving towards the entry area and guess what our die hard fans did!!!! they thought the entry was open and everyone started runnin towards the entry and rushing to get the first place to stand! mann i was literally pushed down and got nicely hit by one idiot's helmet! phew..
but.. omg.the security ppl were stuck up and dint let us in and instead asked us to form a line outside the entry.
like good kids we also paid heed and formed lines..and it extended to some two kilometers i guess! lol..
but it was like 2.30pm and we were still waitin like fools outside the entry area. so we started banging the walls and throwing bottles and even the security's cap! lol.. was real fun!
then it became 3 and we were completely restless and so we started pushing in front(thank god there wasn't any stampede!)
we also started playing cards! lol
and then finally after slogging for two whole hours they decided to let us in. but the other entrance which no one knew were let in first and so they occupied the first few rows!:( but yeah.. if i would ve stood in the front rows i would have died of suffocation.even tushar came off!
the first band to perform was called FTN who won the campus rock idols(wish public issue played). FTN was real bad mann.. they could n control the crowd!! the crowed pulled them off the stage!
next on stage was a band called PARIKRAMA! the kicked ass! seriously they were mind blowing(my kinda music!) the band as a whole was amazing.too good music and they were extremely lively! the violinist kicked ass!(yeah.. they had a violinist and a tabla player!kick ass no?)
next band tht played was//umm// yuck! i just couldn stand! it was stve harris' daughter's band..lauren harris! shit! we jus couldn stand her! she jus went on and on.. she couldn jus sing! the mob was yellin at her to get off the stage! lol.. i seriously hated her! lol..
finally!! phew! it was maiden!!!!!!!!!they appeared with a bang! mann bruce dickenson! shit! i jus couldn believe i was actually there to witness them perform!it was truely a very nice feeling to be there u know? i just forgot everything!
ppl were drunk..doped..high..headbanging..excited to see their godz..jumping..pushing/. yelling//! what a sight! 50,000 fans.. phew!
once the started .. the crowd went crazy! number after number the crowd fell on their feet! i heard one guy say " mann.. i don want anything more in my lif.. i shall die now" and another girl " i ve seen my godz.. i ve attained salvation.. kill me!!!" hahahaha
everthing was soooper! but.. huh the event managing company..DNA NETWORKS! i tell ya! they sucked big time.. it was poorly organised! no water!no proper food. they dint let us take anythin into the venue! for 50000 ppl. they had one food stall and one drinks stall where they gave "mirinda sorbet" lol!!!
but.. i must say.. after all this slogging and struggle..i dint seriously feel the pain.. we were standing all day and still we were ready to take anything for the performance!
ummm.. i felt nice writing this post! was like a recap to what i saw there! :)

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they're yours. If they don't, they never were." aren't these words true?? i got these lines in my mobile..someone sent it to me..it actually affected me so much! and thats y i am here writing this post!
coming to the point.. im a person badly affected by love..i think the greatest mistake that i did all my life is falling in love..(i actually don't mean that) but yeah.. when u r ditched by someone its awful! its very hard to take it.. at least for me.. for the past few days.. ive totally lost myself.. no food.. no sleep.. nothing! im feeling miserable! but why! why should i undergo all this shit? y should i undergo this trauma! i don't deserve this..! do i?? do i deserve this kind of humility?/ do i have to take this intolerable insult? i don't think so..i have my life.. and i wanna be happy! i have my mom! i have myself!! im gonna love myself! why should i love someone who doesn even respect foe the slightest bit!
if u ever loved someone.. let them be themselves.. let them go..love them for what they are.. and if they come back they had loved you, they love you , and they will love you.....and they were your's
but..
if they don't they never ahd loved you.. they were never your's

will time heal my wounds?
answers!

*HUGS* TOTAL!
give divya more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

yet to write this post.. this is one decision i nver wanna take. but ..now.. ive lost everythin in life.. im gonna lose my music also..