Fantisezed emotions appearing real

This day of my life, i realize how hard it is, how disheartening it is, how painful it is , how dreadful it is to be alone. I have never realized the importance of people around me for i was always with them. My friends. I realize now how people face loneliness and the fact that they cannot change it for a period of time and they have to live with the hope that they soon would be fetched by someone or the other to show some tiny-winy bit of love. For people who know me, I've always been this girl who loves to be out, socialize, "hang out", work, and make lots of friends. But this is the day i realize how many mistakes i have made to face this day of loneliness. This day, where i stand looking at myself depressed and alone with no shoulder to cry on and listen to me vent it all out. I have no one now.
Will i always be stuck here, in this four walled room or ever come out of with a hope of love.
I hope. Some day , someone will bring me out .
I realize.
I hope.

i really don't know what to say when someone asks me, "do you REALLY love me?", " do you SERIOUSLY love me?". Also when someone says, " i love her SINCERELY". I always wonder what the other person is trying to say. I am confused.

My first winter ever.
Was a hectic day. All day school and no play.
It was raining like no one cared.
But all i could see was little happiness being shared.
The leaves were beaming with selfless joy, the clouds all grey and the grass all posing with pride. I boarded the bus and all i could see was black jackets and overcoats.A mother suffering with her little ones in the stroller did not complain but was telling stories about the rain. The bus was full but there was something that added to the crowded buzzing bus. It was the foggy little rain drops in the windows. Everything outside looked blurred and out of focus. How i wished i had my camera! With Rahman singing "new york nagaram" in my ears..all my past cherished memories flashed.
I saw a little happiness today.
The rain made my day.